"Anxious to Empowered: How the Academy Changed My Life"

Alone. Apprehensive. Timid. Insecure. Overwhelmed.

That was me. Who I was. High school had always been very ambitious for me. I stayed in my room every night; alone, overworked myself, but never took the initiative to pursue my dreams, only wanting to impress others with my “accomplishments”. I always struggled with who I was around other people, continually undermining my worth and purpose, and I never found a group of friends I felt I could truly connect with. My entire high school experience felt exhausting. Even though I found pockets of happiness once I joined the track team, I still felt like I never quite hit my stride. 

The summer before my senior year, I was offered an opportunity to attend a leadership academy: Enjoy Life. Initially, I figured it would be a waste of time and there were better things I could do during that week-long session. But putting it on a college resume was a seemingly nice perk. So, hesitantly, I decided to sign up. 

In the weeks before the academy, I began questioning if it would be a worthwhile endeavor. I was about to put myself in a situation where I was 2 hours from home and didn’t know a single person. My anxiety skyrocketed, and my intrusive thoughts of self-doubt and lack of confidence began to find their way back. What if I couldn’t connect with anyone? What if this was another bad “high school” experience? I thought about faking being sick, just to avoid going. 

But then I considered that maybe, just maybe, this could be the fresh social restart I've been yearning for. Maybe this was finally an opportunity to find myself, step outside my comfort zone, find my place. The drive up to Stonehill College, where the academy took place, felt like an eternity. Doubt continually found its way back into my mind and I struggled to conceal my spiraling anxiety, sweating profusely in my seat, pale-faced with terror. But I found myself having a spark of curiosity. 

As we approached the campus, it was time to say goodbye to my family for the week. And out of nowhere, councilors and staff members swarmed my car, and I was unsure what to do. I mustered up a laugh, trying to find some amusement in what laid ahead. Everyone was so enthusiastic and full of life and energy. Maybe this was something more than I was expecting, something more than just the extra perk on a college resume, something I could truly benefit from. 

It didn’t take very long for this way of living to grow on me and have an effect on the way I went about that week, as The Enjoy Life Academy quickly transcended every expectation. All week people kept positive energy, making everyone feel more and more comfortable by the minute. They taught everyone to live outside of their comfort zone and not worry about the expectations or thoughts of other people, but rather be happy with yourself and what you have accomplished, as well as the journey to get here. Truly embracing being your own person.

The Academy helped me go from an anxious introvert, to a newer, more confident version of myself, as it taught me to live worry-free and only focus on the things I can control in my life and worry less about the smaller things I can't control. I was having the best week of my life with new friends, creating lifelong bonds and relationships. 

But like all good things, the life-changing experience came to an end. And as I left campus, I realized that the mental skills and tools they helped me build and reestablish will stay with me for the rest of my life, and for that I am forever grateful.

And there was one quote that will live with me forever, “Be yourself so the people looking for you can find you”.

Written by Gavin Cykley, First Year Student, 2024